MS My Way

I'm Still blogging.........

2008-03-31T15:25:00.000-07:00

Just not on the MS blog. I am continuing to blog on my MidWestHorse Blog. I'm not abandoning this completely, but I am concentrating my time on my other blog. After all it was the first, my baby.......I thank everyone for their support and hope all are doing and feeling well out there.

Taking A Break

2008-03-10T07:05:00.000-07:00

I'll start by apologizing to all of you who are quite supportive to me and have been since I met you all. But I'm going to take a break from this blog for awhile. My husband at times has encouraged me to go out and visit the other MS blogs and I have tried, but recently I've had much more difficulty visiting as most have you have been dealing with MS much longer than I have. And when I read some posts from strong people struggling with this disease, I can only see my future which starts to get me scared and I cannot bring myself to do it for now. I think mentally I prefer to continue blissfully thinking that this will not get any worse and I need to keep a positive attitude. And just work my job and take care of my family and critters. Things I used to just put off as a bad bed, being tired from night shift and whatever now I've become too hyper-aware of being related to MS, which is really freaking me out right now. I need to focus on the here and now and not worry about what my physical and mental future may be. So again, I apologize and when I'm ready, I'll be back. Until then, all take care and heal well...........

Neurology Appointment

2008-03-04T08:46:00.000-08:00

This is my Neurologist, Dr.Prince..........He is also a horseman........Yipee! Stephen and I went to see him this morning for one of my follow-up appointments. I think he thinks we are both nuts.........Had him laughing today as well, probably because we yak as a couple and it more than likely takes every bit of concentration on his behalf to understand us as I crack jokes about my recent cognitive fauxpas at work and how I blame it on holey brain and my darling Stephen discussing treatments in England for migraine relief. Poor guy, I printed out my list of current damages and asked him to pop in chart and I think he was impressed that I had blog, of course, I said there's an unfortunate wealth of experience out there. Not that the info is unfortunate, but that there are so many of us out there who have this. My liver, still ok. One enzyme up a squeegee, but nothing to be concerned about. And will get labs again in July. Fingers crossed that liver holds up. Found out that one of the Neurosurgery Residents that I used to wake at 3am for such and such patient was now in his office. Told him to say Hi from crazy Callie, PICU night nurse, that used to give him a hard time. Neurosurgs always hate to rotate through Pediatric ICU's ........Hate us, actually. Afraid of kids, I think. Gave me a script for a new antispasmodic to give a try. Good! Can't wait to give it a try. I told him good days and bad. He asked about my riding, I said balance and damned foot, but not givin' it up. Even if I fall off. Thank God for forgiving and understanding mares. Told him the cognitive freaks me the most and I'm used to tipping over. And I asked just exactly which variation of this MS I have, which is what I guessed , Relapsing Remitting. Isn't that how it usually starts. Then Steve and I went to Denny's for breakfast and just giggled about the visit. I'm sure we are different as I bring my Hubs with who is eccentric as it stands and what doesn't work in my brain, works in his and vise verse. And we discussed it. The thing is it is what it is and there's no point in griping about the damage already done or the future. I figure it's best to keep fingers crossed that current treatment continues to work without killing my liver and I go forth and learn to live with it. He's a good Doc and I like him. He actually remembered me and Steve. How possibly could anyone forget! We tend to leave them laughing.

Zeke and His Mouse

2008-03-03T08:28:00.000-08:00

Today, much better after good nights sleep. May even go out in snow and shovel horse poop.....This is Zeke, who feels the need to help Mommy blog.......Maybe, I'll create more business cards to pass out at upcoming Horse Expos, I'll going too. Thanks all for the concern of yesterday's feel sorry post.......LOL, I'm over it. Hope all is doing well. Will try and scoot around and visit everyone today.

Another Sucky Sunday with An Avonex Hangover

2008-03-02T19:46:00.001-08:00

Goat Turds!!!!! That's what I feel like........My gosh I shivered like a dog poopin' razor blades today after that Avonex..........And speaking of goats and dogs, the darned little bugger goats broke loose again today and Steve had the pleasure of rangling them. Will try and catch culprits in the act on video for all of you to enjoy. Devilish little critters, they are........Still took the time to go out and enjoy warmer breezy air and outdoor critters this afternoon, but short lived and will gratefully crawl into warm bed with valuim tonight.

MS is Weird!

2008-02-28T09:55:00.000-08:00

I do not know what the hell has gotten into me today, but I actually feel like a normal human being again. Hope it lasts. I got up early, wrote my list of shit to do and went on my merry way, Steve helped me unload garbage out of truck at the end of the driveway, I shoveled out back of truck, not completely, but enough, drove it to the station, gassed up and headed towards clinic to pay a bill and finally get my labs drawn before Tuesdays appointment with Neuro. I stopped at good ole' Walmart for some things I needed and then headed back to the feed store for 250 pound of grain for horses and goats.. Steve unloaded it from the truck, but then I ripped the 50 pound bags open and emptied them into the feed bins, we both corralled the goats back into their pen after Steve shoveled them out and now I'm fixin' to clean the water troughs outside, which requires retrieving the hose and unwinding it, just right so that there are no kinks and I think today, I'll quick bleach troughs before putting fresh in. That means finding a creative way to empty what is left in it, so the horses don't have to ice skate. Not an easy task as this a 100 gallon tank that is probably just under half full. Last time, I manged to freeze my feet off. I feel good today and I don't know why! Cripes! MS is weird! Oh and fold a basket of laundry.............

I Thought I Would Entertain You All

2008-02-26T05:48:00.000-08:00

I thought I might bring a little chuckle to my fellows MSers, who seem to as well as me be getting our butts kicked by this crappy disease lately by posting a video of my crazy yet entertaining goats I took yesterday. This should bring a smile to your faces, if you find your way here that is. Great entertainment....... At least I find it funny. These are the boys, Herman, the larger one running around and jumping onto his house. Pumba and IttyBitty head butting. Just cracks me up, but I am easily entertained. Probably due to lack of some brain cells.

MS is a Butt Kicker!

2008-02-25T12:36:00.000-08:00

It is just kicking my butt. My legs are like jelly and my knees were buckling earlier. I worked hard my two 12 hours nights Friday and Saturday, but I can't believe that would be it alone. I knocked myself out last night to ensure good sleep, but I still feel like crap. Geezus, I hate this shit. And to know it doesn't get better ever! Just worse. Pisses me off really. I have so much stuff to do this week. And to top it off, 8 inches of more shitty crappy snow again tonight. I need green grass and spring flowers NOW! And perhaps a new pair of legs, just for today, anyway. Like my piggy pic? That's how I feel. Except that he's cute. I took that last year at our county fair.

Another Sunny Winter Day

2008-02-21T17:36:00.000-08:00

Today is Thursday and this is the day that I must do outdoor chores or more than my normal AM and PM feeds. Today I needed to top off water troughs before I work the next two nights. I also made a new friend in the horse blogosphere that's an expert in feet, so I am a good mommy and value other's opinions, so I managed to juggle a camera, an 1100 pound horse and their feet, so I could send photos to her. My redheaded girl is stubborn and posed more of a problem, but my Kola was easy. And to keep Spot the border collie concentrating on the job at hand, which is to go potty and poo poo rather than dive into snowdrifts chasing shadows can certainly be a challenge. I'm sure my neighbors must think I'm nuts. Last night, spasms in quads were held at bay, due to new massager meant for neck wrapped around legs. Seemed to work. Hope it helps tonight. I am sure looking forward to warmer days.

I Need A Massage!

2008-02-19T12:27:00.000-08:00

Oooooh..........That feels so good. What I wouldn't give for a massage right now. Especially my legs. They feel so tight. I know I lay in bed at night and I can feel those damned legs spasm. Just minor.........not anything big, just enough to be really annoying. Oh a good leg massage from top to feet. I think I'm going to find a local spa and get one. It seems to be more constant. With 50% good days and 50% annoying days. Still not bad days......I suppose it coulf be much worse, but a massage would feel so good right now.

Back Amongst The Living......

2008-02-18T06:42:00.000-08:00

I think......Geeze, this was a crappy flu. I haven't had a real flu in years. Steve is still suffering. I feel like I'm finally starting to get better. These are my Valentine's Day flowers. I've got to get back to the grind. Horses get feet trimmed today. At least the house is clean. It ought to be as Stephen and I haven't eaten in a week so there are no dirty dishes.

Judge Judy Knows Nothing Of MS

2008-02-14T14:35:00.000-08:00

This is a copy of an opinion that I just sent to Judge Judy following one of the cases on her program.

I watched a case in today 2/14/08, in which a Mother had told her 6 year old child that her Father may not be her Father, etc. I agree with Judge Judy. A parent is a moron for doing that, however, I take issue with a comment the Judge made to the Mother after she said she was now getting SSI for Multiple Sclerosis. Judge Judy stated, "You look fine to me!" MS is a debiliatating disease that often takes years to diagnose. It causes one's immune system to attack the mylin that covers one's spinal cord and brain. It not only causes physical disability but also causes cognitive issues. As a recently diagnosed MS sufferer, I was offended. Most of us with MS take drugs either weekly or daily or monthly that are very much like chemo drugs and they make you very ill for hours to days. Some days for people with MS are good and indeed they look fine, some are not. I used to work full time, but have cut my hours in order to cope physically and mentally. I do not plan on SSI until I cannot move.

I don't have a problem with Judge Judy's final judgement in the case, but that was an aweful thing to say.

This is even worse when a well known and popular TV host Montel Williams announces his retirement due to the progression of his MS.

Happy Valentine's Day!

2008-02-14T08:02:00.000-08:00

A Bit Sick!

2008-02-12T18:28:00.000-08:00

Feeling a little under the weather today. I don't know whether it was something I ate or a touch of the flu. You can imagine, keeping the bucket with me everywhere. Eeeewww !!!!!!!!!!!

A Sign.........

2008-02-11T10:45:00.000-08:00

Have you ever seen a sign like this one before? I took this pic one year while in England, having never seen a sign like this in the states, I immediately burst into laughter. No one in the car, all British, by the way understood what was so funny to me. It just struck me as funny, not a chuckle funny, but the kind where tears are streaming down your face and you could actually pee your pants. It must be Karma...............I could use this sign around here, only change it MSer's crossing.........Only not today, feel pretty energetic. It still cracks me up!

MaMa's Kitty

2008-02-11T05:52:00.000-08:00

I thought this pic was hilarious, so I posted it. This Ezekial aka Zeke, my special kitty. One of our six which all can be quite annoying at times. Zeke was attempting to foil my picture taking caper by pulling the string handle of the camera. Each have quite their own personalities. Zeke will also ransack my computer area by pulling the lampshade with his teeth, stealing my watches, walking across the keyboard, and knocking down my pictures. He's also been known to chew important paper work. Devil, I say.

New Widget Towards The End Of The Page

2008-02-08T05:03:00.000-08:00

I created a widget for Callie at the bottom on the right of the page after she was telling me one night she likes to go out each day and check the other MS blogs on her list and make comments, but sometimes she would spend two hours checking them out to find all her blogging friends had been busy and not posted, this is especialy so for MS Blogs as they tend to blog more often when they additional problems.

So I created the little widget that gives the latest 10 updated posts .I used her blogroll as the starting point, then checked the most compregensive braincheese blog roll and found a few more of my own, plus sites that I thought would be useful.

Please let me know of any good MS sites with RSS feeds blogs I have missed out and what you think of it.You can find the full list of sites included at The Power Guide for MSI think one of the reasons I like it is because I can include blogs that do not post very often due to other commitments but you can still tell when they create a new postSteve

Scenes From Today

2008-02-07T15:57:00.000-08:00

Our driveway. My marvelous parallel parking job. The snow sculptures in Lake Geneva. The fools out on the lake ice fishing.

Fooey Snow!

2008-02-07T09:51:00.000-08:00

I hate snow, but obviously Spot loves it! He came tearing through it at me after his afternoon potty break, yesterday.

My List of Annoying MS Damages

2008-02-06T19:18:00.000-08:00

I put this pic up to go with this post as this is a very annoyed horse and I thought it would go well with this post. I'm listing all of my annoying damage done, for lack of better words. Don't know why. Just thought I would because I feel like it.

1) Even though I was only diagnosed in October or was it September, I've had a left foot drop for about two to three years. I remember thinking it odd that when I rode, my left foot would push down into the stirrup while I would ride normally with my right foot flexed upward. I thought it was just me being weird. I also noticed the lack of flexion when walking down the stairs barefoot.

2) I've struggled with a very stiff left side of my neck for about a year steady. Thought I was sleeping weird or maybe my pillows were crappy.

3) Random numbness in my left arm especially my hand. Sometimes my right hand too, but mostly my left side. Again used to think I was sleeping on it.

4) WORD fishing, really word fishing for a couple of years now. Sometimes worse than other times but usually always. My husband noticed this first. I thought I just had too much on my mind.

5) Short term memory..........I've been writing lists for a few years now as well. And asking my husband to help me write the list and remember.

6) Concentration. Not so bad at work, because what I've been doing, I've been doing so long that it comes fairly automatic, but sometimes even there I have to redirect myself and start over.

7) Generalized body stiffness. If I sit say for instance too long in a car, I become quite stiff and it's harder to get up.

8) My strength. Where I used to be able to pull my fat ass up onto a horse, I've had to use my trusty mounting bucket for at least two and a half years now.

9) One thing I forgot to add, the random little annoying muscle spasms that I get nearly every other day. Mostly in my legs but often in my hands. Have had those for a few years now, just thought I needed more calcium.

10) Cognitive ability. This one scares me and I don't know if I'm hyper aware of it or it is more of an issue, but I've pointed to the rubberband on the table, knew it was a rubber band and asked for the ashtray. Of all of them that freaks me the most.

And then those obvious three relapses that I've previously spoke of with the final one getting me diagnosed. Unless I've forgotten something, which is entirely possible, I think that basically covers it. Although my husband has mentioned various mood swings, but I think that's related to my normal PMS. So there it is in a nutshell.

2008-02-06T09:13:00.000-08:00

The start of 18 inches of snow, starting yesterday at about 3pm and ending today at about 6pm. Woo Hoo! More snow! When I really want to start seeing green.

Well, I have my appointment with the neurologist next month. And as I suspected, I have to go back to the lab and have a liver panel drawn from my most easily found and giving veins, NOT. Which pisses me off, because with the last draw, I made a point about making sure the livers were drawn while I was there and of course they were not.

Today, stay indoors and make a yummy chicken stew, because it's crappy and near blizzard conditions outside. Do some laundry and Diane, yes, I will tidy up that desk area, LOL, because it is in need of that.

Breakfast?

2008-02-05T06:04:00.000-08:00

This happens any morning that I may attempt to eat cereal. What you don't see is that there is two dogs on the floor looking up and another cat on the floor also looking up. They wait for me to set the bowl down and Lilyput (the oversized calico) will challange me for it and paw and bite at me to get the bowl. Pardon the state of this old kitchen. It's seriously outdated and one of the last rooms in the house that needs to be done. And I just realized just how flattering an oversized red sweatshirt really is.......Yeah......That's good.........

Waiting.........

2008-02-04T10:57:00.001-08:00

Just called the Neurologist and now I'll wait for a couple of days to find out more about my labs and what he thinks.

I have to work a crappy 4 hours tonight of mandatory overtime. It's silly weather again. It snowed four inches last night and this morning it was pouring rain and thundering. We have a few errands to run before I head off to work. At least it's only 4 hours and it will go quick. The chill of today has gone straight to my bones. I don't mind the cold but when it's coupled with dampness.........Brrrrrrrrr.........Nothing a nice warm bath won't cure.

I have to get out and get my daughter and her roomate, Brit, a few goodies for Valentine's Day. College kids love to receive packages and Zoe's birthday is coming up. I can't believe she'll be 19. Makes me feel old! So tomorrow, we'll be headed to the Apple store for the childbrat's birthday gift. The gifts get more expensive as they get older.

Today, when I went out to feed the horses, I noticed a strange hole dug into the old tall grass next the barn as I bent down to crawl through the fence and there peeking out at me was a little bunny. I shouted to my husband and made him come down and look at the bunny. I hope it's still there because I'll take a picture of it.

How Do I Know?

2008-01-31T19:30:00.000-08:00

So how do I know if I was to have a relapse? I mean if it wasn't an obvious one like an optic neuritis. To what degree is a symptom considered a relapse? Would a little more numbness be a relapse or just the same lesion acting up? Or slightly more stiffness in the same area of stiffness? What other type relapses are out there? Oh wise and more experienced MSers........Please share, I'm curious. I know we're all different but I'd still like to know if anyone has had the same type relapse that they have had before or has each one been something different? Sorry, had to put Spot, aka Mr. Cute up because I thought the face went well with the questions and his face is much cuter than mine. :)

Say It Isn't So..........

2008-01-31T05:57:00.000-08:00

Is it true what they say about Jaguars being expensive to up keep? I'm afraid so. My little X-type has been naughty. As I was driving home from work the other morning, the dashboard on this thing went completely wonky! I dread to think what it will cost. It suddenly started flashing all sorts of messeges at me. Engine light, cruise control not working, engine temperature gage. All sorts of things that were simply untrue. I think when moisture get in there, it's starts giving me problems. So it sits in the driveway waiting for the day I'll bring it into the dealership for repair, which will be awhile as taxes must come first. I miss my ass warmers as I have to drive the Focus, which is a nice little car, but I must admit I've been spoiled to ass warmers and all wheel drive in winter weather. We bought her used, I love that car. The gas milage is fairly good, nearly 30 in the summer and 25 in the winter, not bad for what it is. I do love my big red truck, but we only use that for farm work and most times it sits until I need hay or to haul something.

We'll See

2008-01-29T13:32:00.000-08:00

Well, I had labs drawn today and I asked for the CBC as this is the first set of labs since I started the Avonex and I found out that my white count is bordering on the low side four point something, barely within normal range. My Doc is sending the labs through to my Neurologist and we'll see from there. She didn't anything about my BMP, so I'm hoping that the liver enzymes are OK. She will send all my labs to me in the mail, so I can scrutinize them myself. I hate the thought of changing from Avonex to something different or starting Neupagen, I think that would be another friggin' needle. I don't know if they would treat low whites with anything or just change treatments. Don't know? Guess I'll find out..........hopefully soon. I hate the hurry up and wait game.

On another note, I was able to tidy most of the house and remove four large wheel barrows of crap from the barn, leaving it totally clean. My goal was to get half way there, but I managed it all. They'll just crap it up again.........

Aren't They Gorgeous?

2008-01-28T19:07:00.000-08:00

I just had to post my girls. I took these pics this afternoon. I just had to share these gorgeous girls!

Can You See It?

2008-01-28T15:49:00.000-08:00

Can you see this creature peering out from under our shed? It's an opossum..........I can't stand those things. I was sitting on the couch when my husband who was standing near said, "What is it?" My response, "Oh crap, it's a opossum!" And he retrieved the camera and I took this pic. As a horse owner, I do not like these creatures as they carry a disease that can permanently damage a horse's neuro system. The horses get exposed to it if the opossum gets into their grain. Why I keep my livestock food locked up......Creepy little glorified rat peering at us!

Good Morning!

2008-01-28T07:01:00.000-08:00

I thought the sunrise this morning was stunning! The girls were pleased that I was up early to feed and since it will be warm today, I will being doing a bit of mucking...........I've also posted a short video of Spot drinking his cup of joe! Just a usual Monday.

How Was I Diagnosed?

2008-01-27T07:11:00.000-08:00

As people I work with find out I have MS, I am very often asked how I got diagnosed. I've been told that it really was very typical........My list of circumstances for diagnosis. I had three "episodes", the third is what lead to the MRI's/Neurologist/Diagnosis. In September of 2007, shortly after Labor Day, I woke up with an acute vision change. The only way to describe it was a distortion of my vision of only my right eye. At the time I was suffering with the typical fall hay fever I usually get, so at first I blew it off and by the time I realized it wasn't really going away it was the weekend and I had to work. So the following Tuesday, I called my Doc and described what was going on. She immediately made arrangements for me to see an Optho as I have been Diabetic for 11 years and as a naughty person had not gotten my eyes checked in 7 years. It's expensive and insurance doesn't cover eye exams and husband and daughter come first. So I went and she saw 2 retinal bleeds, decided to give it a week, constantly checking in with me to see if it had resolved. I went back and they had resolved but there was a new bleed and edema on my optic nerve..........Optic Neuritis and she ordered an MRI. And my several little active holes lit up. Next step Neurologist/MS specialty.........The Optho Doc would not commit to any possibilities as I layed them all out, after all I am a nurse and by then had done a fair amount of research. I had pretty much come to a conclusion after viewing my MRI and reading the report. Funny enough, my money was on MS. I would rather have that than a metastatic lesion! Saw the neurologist and he was pretty convinced it was MS after taking my history, but ordered another MRI to check my C-spine. Hind sight is always 20/20. In January of 2007, I had woken up with the classic MS symptom of bending your head forward with the electric shock feeling down both arms and numbness and tingling in my arms, especially my left. I saw my Doc at that time and I had a crunchy neck and we decided that it may be a little arthritis as she knows well my history of injury from horses. She put me on Naproxin, which seemed to work, but little did I know that it takes about a month for episodes to resolve on their own and that's how long I was on the Nap. I also had a weird bout of horizontal vertigo in November of 2006 lasting about a month and saw a Doc, thought it was viral. When I look back on the past, I've had balance issues for about 2-3 years at that time and was no longer able to pull myself up onto the horse without my trusty mounting bucket. I noticed the balance especially while riding horses. Couldn't figure it out, just thought I had lost my skills or I was light headed from working night shift or something. All the little ailments that encompass MS that you blow off as aging or for me Diabetic neuropathies and night shift work for a decade. So there it is..........With the diagnosing episode I also have had and still do have a stiff left side of my neck and a slight foot drop on the left. At the time I thought it was due to a full week at the county fair of walking and hauling a 35 pound saddle around. I've had small to moderate muscle spasms for a few years and thought that I drank too much Diet Coke and needed calcium supplements. So here I sit with what I deem as mild disability with a permanently stiff left neck and left foot. Periodic whole body stiffness, but only when not well rested. Little annoying muscle spasms 80% of the time at my estimation, forgetfulness, word fishing-often, sometimes inability to concentrate. Alot of things I had chalked up to Diabetes & Nocs even though for 10 years it has been very well controlled. My husband was initially very taken back with the Dx, but has adjusted well as I think I have. My first labs since the start of Avonex will be this week. So here's hopin' my liver is good. I think we'll pass as I haven't turned yellow and I haven't bruised any easier than I ever have. Thought I'd just share and compare.

Depression?

2008-01-24T16:18:00.001-08:00

When the Avonex people called to take their pole about their product, one of the questions was, "Have you experienced any depression?" I don't think so. I read alot of posts about depression and things that go along with MS treatment. I've been on my Avonex since November. I've had 5 weeks of full doses. I'm not sure I would know depression if it bit me on the nose. I can't think of a time in my life that I would say I was depressed. Oh, I've been sad at appropriate times for appropriate reasons and worried appropriately, but I don't think I've been depressed. I couldn't ask for a better family.....smart kids........wonderful husband.......hopefully happy kids.......our animals........able to pay the bills........I can separate myself from my job..........Even when I divorced my daughter's father, I managed through it and thought of it as more of a relief and a new beginning for myself and Zoe, especially when I met Steve. I feel appropriately guilty over things I think I should feel guilty over, but I don't think I've been depressed ever. I think I may worry about others rather than myself. I'm quite happy with my life. I'm looking forward to a normal next week. Steve and I are planning to go to Millie's Pancake House....A special place for lunch. I look forward to more time with him as I have no overtime scheduled next week. Yippy! I don't even hate winter. Don't care much for the subzero weather, but I can cope....I don't know?

Stephen's Wild Birds

2008-01-24T14:05:00.000-08:00

Steve loves to feed his wild birds...........There they are battling for seed. There's usually a variety as well, but mostly sparrows today.

Beautiful Full Moon

2008-01-22T17:03:00.000-08:00

Steve and I were on our way to our local cafe for some dinner tonight and I've learned to take my camera with as you never know when there will a nice horse picture to take or deer or big beautiful moons to snap and I snapped this rising moon over a neighbor's farm. I thought it was so pretty. I survived my overtime shift. I'm glad mandatory is only 8 hours a month through March because one thing I've learned with MS is that my body can't take the extra hours, so in the future I will break it up into two 4 hour shifts on the evening shift rather than an 8 hour night shift. It just kills me and wrecks my whole week. Also received the Avonex check up call today. Weird.......taking a poll as to what I think about the product so far............weird.

Our Annual Pipe Burst!

2008-01-21T06:00:00.000-08:00

On top of my Avonex hangover, Steve and I woke at 3 am to a burst water pipe in spite of our efforts to prevent it. And flooding of the first floor which is like a basement. Not quite as bad as last year, but what the hell. I did not remind the plumbing company that today was a Holiday. They seemed to be open this morning. So maybe this year, we won't get the weekend call out fee as normally it's a Sunday night when this happens. Of course every towel in the house is currently in use soaking up the flood. I'm supposed to do my mandatory overtime tonight and now that's it's warmed ever so slightly...........there will be six inches of fresh hell to drive in. When it rains it pours!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Avonex Hangover

2008-01-20T18:06:00.001-08:00

Zeke........Always sleeps with me when I get home in the morning from work after having had my Avonex. He woke me up early today by attempting to steal my diamond necklace and bracelets off of me while I sleep. Now I'm well awake suffering with my Avonex headache rather than sleeping it off. This is his impression of an alien. Little Bugger. So now I can't go to sleep as I must watch the game. Go Pack!!!!!!!!! No offence to the Giant's fans out there, but I do live in Wisconsin, where it is frigid cold!!!!!!!!!!

Why I'm Constantly Vacuuming

2008-01-17T16:04:00.000-08:00

And these are only some of the critters in this house and as you can see, they like to occupy the furniture. Thank God, most of the floor is covered in wood laminate. So glad we got rid of the carpet! The usual stiff neck and dropped foot, but otherwise doing OK. It's about to get below "0" here. Can't wait for that! I hate frigid cold! Looking so forward to spring!

My Exercise Until Spring

2008-01-14T14:54:00.000-08:00

Yesterday sucked bad for me. I finished my usual second in a row 12 hour night shift, got my shot and drove home. I went to sleep, which is what I usually do and woke up only after 3 1/2 hours of sleep as there has been alot going on in the family. Phone ringing off the hook and such. Geez, talk about the pain. I really need my 5 hours of sleep. No amount of ibuprofen was helping. My legs were killing me. Since we've managed to keep the house relatively clean, this week I will take it easy. My pool table will be my mode of exercise until spring. And I must remember to rest, especially after my two twelves. I think my burst last week was because I didn't have the two in a row because of the New Year holiday I worked earlier in the week. Today, after sleeping eight hours, the normal stiffness, but thankfully not the pain.

A Little Stiffer

2008-01-10T07:25:00.000-08:00

As I've had a busy week and finally managed to completely clean the house, including clearing my Husband's office which was a tip! There were piles of books on the floor and it has been driving me crazy for some time now, so it took me hours, but it looks so much nicer now and cleaner. Book are now all in the shelf where they belong. Can actually see the pictures of the kids now, whereas before all you could see was dust! Now if we can just keep it clean while I'm at work the next two days. It's always a big job, house cleaning after we've had the kids here as I tend to let things go. We believe it is more important to do fun things instead of house clean when they are all here. So today a day of rest after I go to the feed store for grain for the horses and goats.

My Loving Lilyput

2008-01-08T13:58:00.000-08:00

Notice my hands protected by the sleeves of my sweatshirt. Thought I might share my little fat Lilyput. Blind with a total of 24 claws when there should only be 18. This is when she's being a lovable little kitty. Just thought I'd put her up here. She makes my day, even when she's hissy! Just cracks me up!

Something Humorous

2008-01-07T10:58:00.000-08:00

To the right Stephen and I have started a new blog, which I think you all might find humorous. He got the idea and I've been out doing the research and we've both been pissing ourselves laughing ever since. Take a look. Title: Look What I Found For Sale.

Third Full Avonex Dose

2008-01-05T18:45:00.000-08:00

I think this morning was my third full dose of Avonex. I think I've been tolerating things quite well. As usual, I worked my 12 hour night shift and at about 6 am, I ask a co-worker to stab me with it. I leave work at about 7:45 am and get home at about 8:30 am. Mill about the house for at least an hour, take four Ibuprofen 800mg and off to sleep. I sleep until about 2pm, wake up a bit shaky and pretty damp as I'm sure I have fever and chills during my sleep, but not enough to wake me. Today I gave myself about an hour to wake up and I had chores that needed doing. The horses needed a clean trough and fresh water as did the goats. I have to do this at least once a week, easy enough during warm months. A little bit more complicated in the winter months. So I put on my barn clothes and off I went. It was in the mid 30's today. I first fed horses out in middle of turn out on the snow as the barn needed cleaning. I amaze myself sometimes. I cleaned and filled troughs, which includes rewinding hose and disconnection from outdoor spigot as if I do not do this, it will freeze. I shoveled the entire barn shelter (about the size of two large box stalls) 16 foot x 8 foot in size. I keep up with the crap pretty regularly, but it doesn't take much with two 1100 pound creatures crapping daily. Filled an extra large two wheeled wheelbarrow full of crap, heavy crap and hauled on flat tires across through the wet melting snow to the neighbor's field to dump and took the time to play with the goats who are so fat it's not funny. Alot of work I needed to accomplish today and managed to do it inspite of Avonex and MS. I must be lucky. Sure I'm tired and spasmy now but I still got things done. Tomorrow finally a clean house. I grew up with a very tough Mother. I loved and respected my Mother, but she was one tough Lady. A very involved and well respected lady who beat the odds of alot of things, but she never let us children feel sorry for ourselves. Her words were, " Pull your head out of your *ss, stand up and march on!" We don't cry much on my side of the family, my brother and I who are left, even my daughter and his sons. Even things that make me profoundly sad, there may be a few tears and guilt, whatever may go along with it for the situation. And then they are quickly clamped off and a new sense of forwardness has taken over. No time to dwell on things that cannot be changed. I appreciate that from her and sometimes I curse her for it as I think it often makes me appear cold and unfeeling which is not true at all. Just tough I guess. That's a good thing, I think.

At The Risk Of Offending

2008-01-03T07:06:00.000-08:00

Does anyone out there see the irony of this picture? Obviously I'm quite bored today, as it is in the single digits and I can't go out and play. Too cold. I took this picture last summer, quite by accident, yet on purpose. I followed around this butterfly because I thought it was quite beautiful and thought I'd like a picture of it and of course it landed, uh, where it landed and I snapped the photo, thinking, how ironic is that! So, today, just for "*hits and giggles", I thought I'd post it and ask for clever captions. You can play if you want. You can call me crazy, but I'll just blame it on my holey brain or you can simply ignore me, but since I had already posted this crazy pic on my horse blog with some rather interesting comments, I'd thought I'd try it here. Break up the mundane boredom of Winter for me when it's so cold. So go for it, if you want!

Winter Art Projects

2008-01-03T06:11:00.000-08:00

So yesterday, I believe I mentioned that the remaining child-brat had forced us into painting birdhouses, which included choosing our said houses at Michael's and paint to the tune of $70. So one is mine, one is Stephen's and one is Bratling's. Reminding you all that we are all adults, although we do not always behave as such. But what fun would that be anyway. I already have three single birdhouses outdoors and a Purple Martin house which we failed at however the Sparrows would disagree. I also have a Bluebird house on a fence post which we are generally successful with and various tweed-like nesting roosts tied to trellis around the property and these three will be added this Spring. So I challenge you to figure out who's is who's.

Re-Order

2008-01-02T06:19:00.000-08:00

Well, reordering my Avonex has proven to be easy thus far. I guess we'll see in a week whether it shows up or not. I go in a week or so to get my labs drawn. We'll how my liver is handling it all. I haven't turned yellow yet, so I'm thinking it's a good thing. Plus I have to get labs for my Diabetes checked as well, but I've had that for 12 years and really since the first year, I feel I've had good control.

It's gotten colder here and my animals are all pissy. Cats are fighting amongst themselves more often. My horses now have very naughty and bad attitudes. Biting at each other and Kola rearing at breakfast. There will be some serious attitude adjustment being done this spring. Maybe a little done this weekend if it warms up. I do not like bad attitudes from large animals in my care.

This house needs some serious cleaning done, since some of the kids have gone home. One bratling is still here until the 16th and she gets "bored". So we have to find ways to entertain her or she'll nag us into submission. Today's plan is to bring the large relatively new flat screen TV back to Best Buy to have it fixed and then take bratling to see The Golden Compass at the theatre and of course that involves lunch at Noodles & Co., which I'm ok with but my husband hates because they do not serve coffee and he is weird over noodles.

Happy New Year!

2008-01-01T01:45:00.000-08:00

Here's to a good 2008 for one and all and may the new year find you happy and content!

Snow!

2007-12-31T12:06:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I really think the snow is beautiful! When it hangs on the trees in the twightlight or under a full moon on a crisp cold night. I love this time of year. I love summer too, but I think I would really miss the seasons if I wasn't here.

MS or Avonex?

2007-12-30T12:38:00.000-08:00

Geese, When I get home in the morning after working a 12 hour night shift, I cannot get my *ss out of the car. I seem to be good as long as I keep moving but the ride home takes about 45 minutes and I swear I need a crane to pull me out. I just don't have the strength. Some days are better than others, but I have to say this morning was a rough one. I can't pin it down, MS or 2 hours into my weekly Avonex dose. I must sleep through fever and chills because I wake up soaked. It's still worth it in my head as it really only seems to be one day of misery. I'm always at my worst on Sunday morning and that is shot day. One of our care partners is in nursing school and today she'll start her first day as a nurse intern, which gives them more responsibility and nursing duties. A nurse intern is in their last semester of nursing school, so I talked her through her first ever IM this morning. On me! It was cute. Every time I said, "Ok, go!" She'd try and squeal and not do it. Ended up being a 15 minute project by the time she finally hit me with it. I had to giggle. A bit torturous for me as I'd rather get it over with, but I love to teach, especially what I know, so I thought it was a good opportunity for her. She did a fine job. Better to give your first IM on my fat *ss arm than some really skin and bones elderly person that no longer has muscle and when you give it you hit the bone. Oh what an awful experience that is. That was my first IM. Our teacher hauled us off to a nursing home to give weekly vitamin shots and those poor old folks. Now giving an IM to someone who no longer has muscle so to speak is an art. This is why I'm in pediatric critical care.

Another Day

2007-12-28T18:36:00.000-08:00

Well we got rid of the blasted ugly tree today. It looks as though the house has been taken over by pine needles as we did it just before we had to leave in a snow storm to take the kids to OHare, Chicago (about a 90 mile drive). But Christmas is put away for another year. I still have a huge clean-up. That won't happen until next week as I must work tomorrow night and Monday night and then my normal Friday/Saturday. Also must take back less than year old Insignia digital TV to Best Buy for fixing as picture has gone to hell. I get stiffer towards the end of the week. Not sure if it's in my head, or I feel better after recovering from Avonex hangover and go crazy with chores, walking a damn mall for 5 hours with adult children the day after Christmas as they have money burning holes in their pockets or what. I really considered a try at downhill skiing on Christmas Eve, but instead took pictures of others and fetched coffee. Since we have new snow, I do want to go sledding this week. I was impressed with my husband as we haven't skied in 7 years and he did very well. I'm never good. Stay only on bunny hill and stop via "*ss". Down to one child in house now until the 16th when she returns to University. Kids made us a beautiful picture collage of the five of together on the 26th when we had a horse and carriage ride in downtown Milwaukee. They framed it beautifully. Now just to figure out where to hang it. Anyway, now I'm just rambling on. Hope all had a wonderful Holiday!

Obsessive Border Collie

2007-12-25T18:07:00.000-08:00

This is Spot, our obsessive Border Collie. I was just shootin' in some balls and he chased around the pool table trying to get only the white ball. Pretty hilarious! I can only say that this is a mad house. Merry Christmas all!

First Full Dose

2007-12-25T05:16:00.000-08:00

Now I know what you're all talkin' about. I shivered all day. Could , pardon what I'm about to share, "poop" though a screen and never hit a wire, and ache, spasm, ache. And yesterday, inspite of all my Ibuprofen and Alieve, the avonex hangover. Oh well, not enough torture to make me stop.

Glorious Ugly Tree

2007-12-19T16:59:00.000-08:00

So here it is in all it's grand ugliness! Crooked! 13 miserable feet tall and bent as hell! I have no idea what Stephen and I were thinking. We wanted something smaller and manageable. I look at it and I do not know how we got it in the house. I sawed the thing down. No wonder the owner of the tree farm looked at us like we were crazy when he offered the 11 foot pre-cut tree and we declined saying, "No,no,no that's much too big and this thing barely fit in the baler! I've decided when it comes down, I shall saw it in pieces and pitch them out of the window!

I Ache And I Still Have To Cut A Tree!

2007-12-13T05:04:00.000-08:00

Good grief, I ache today and I still have much to do before Friday evening. Steve and I have to go cut down our Christmas tree, which means, I do the cutting with a hand saw and we load it up on a sled and drag it back to the barn and have shaken and tied and loaded in the truck and then we drive it home and drag up the stairs and piss and moan over whether it's straight and then I decorate. We also have major shopping to do and I don't mean Christmas shopping, just stuff we need before kids all arrive home. I have two of three bathrooms to clean yet and the 30 x 20 extension, which includes the litter pans and before I get started, medicate one of the horses. That means I have to wrestle a 1100 pound creature for eye drops and icky medicine she has squirted in her mouth and that's before they get fed, including feeding the goats that turns into a round up. Yesterday I cleaned the loft (my office and media room), stairwell and wall library, the formal sitting room with fireplace, spiral stairs down to first floor which is like the basement as this is a converted barn and in the "basement" is the apartment that needed a touch up, several loads of laundry and Steve and I put up 60 foot of Christmas lights, Oh and I topped up the the water troughs outside. I think I over did it a bit. My legs are so achy in spite of ibuprofen.

Unbelievable!

2007-12-12T06:32:00.000-08:00

I don't know what insurance ya' all have out there, but I have United Health and for the most part it's pretty good, but I've noticed something. Whenever anyone in this house gets a CT scan or an MRI, I receive a little something in the mail from Ingenix. It's got a case number on it and a series of seven questions asking whether this was an accident and was a police report made and do I have an attorney. So I'm guessing it's their way of looking for some one else to pay. So today I take the option of calling them rather than fill out the form and mailing it. They automatically assume I've injured my back in which I respond, "No, this was part of diagnosing MS." She replies,"So how did you get this?" I said, "If you can figure out how anyone gets Multiple Sclerosis, then you would make a million, no one knows how you get MS." She says, "Oh, Uh, well we just say you hurt your back or neck. OK, Have a nice day and thank-you." WTF! Even if it's just investigation in the medical field, you should have some kind of knowledge of it before you are hired. But of course, the 800 number was referred to overseas workers for this company who barely speak English much less understand it! If I had balls they'd be frosted! Damn that pisses me off! Anyone else have the pleasure of this experience?

This Half Dose

2007-12-11T09:53:00.000-08:00

This weeks half dose was better. Completely premedicated with Ibuprofen and Alieve. No headache at all. Just that wave of nausea 2 hours after dose. Weird. We're in the middle of a Winter ice storm now. Yippee! And I have the same old outdoor chores to do. Satelite is in and out. Sucks! Sometimes I just want to watch TV.

Ahhhh......Winter Has Arrived

2007-12-05T07:15:00.000-08:00

Guess what I got to do this morning........Yes.....That's it! Shovel! We had a marvelous six inches of snow last night on top of the ice from Saturday on top of the three inches of snow on Sunday! Now I'm freezing after spending forty minutes outside, chasing horses, feeding them and feeding goats and screaming at Spot the Border Collie to back off as it's much fun to attack the snow and shovel as I attempt to shovel it. I don't like my husband to shovel besides of which he's sick from last night's crab cakes he ate at The Cheesecake Factory. Horses are pissy because I locked them out of the pasture this morning and managed to humiliate Misty with a red blanket. That's why they're running around. I say quit it and eat your breakfast! Now I'm frozen to my core. I've found a good combo for my Avonex hangover on Sunday to Monday. I take Alieve and Ibuprofen and I can keep the headache at bay. Still have it on Sunday after the shot, but It keeps it from showing up on Monday as well.

Oh Crap!

2007-11-29T15:46:00.000-08:00

I feel a cold coming on. I have sneezed non-stop for two days now and my nose is just running. My nose is so sore from constantly blowing. Don't know if it's allergies from the mega house clean I've just done or if it's a damn virus. There's absolutely nothing green about it, just clear water. Driving me nuts, though. I want to take my Airborne and my husband thinks that it will impede my Avonex. I don't think it will. Crap, I haven't had a cold in over a year! I guess this is my welcome to immune suppression! Yeah! Goody! I've just decided, I'm taking my Airborne.

Upped My Dose

2007-11-26T07:07:00.000-08:00

Well, I upped my dose of Avonex on Sunday morning to a half dose of 15mcg. Only thing I noticed is as I did get out of work a little later than usual after my friend gave it to me is that I was a bit nauseated driving home. I did wake up early and did a few chores, fed the goats and horses in the afternoon, but I really struggled with weird random spasms most of the evening. Nothing jerky or horrible just deep upper leg and foot spasms. Just enough to make you notice and say, "ahh, yeah that hurt a bit" I'm lucky, I have a very high tolerance for pain. I pride myself in that I gave natural birth to Zoe without so much as a Tylenol. No drugs what so ever. The only time I really require pain meds is when I torque my lower back or get thrown off a horse. I never had a back issue until I was rear ended in Chicago at stop light by some *ss going 55 miles per hour on a city street. I was in the back seat. Since then, about 15 years, every now and then, if I lift just wrong, I'll torque it and hobble into the Doc twisted like a pretzel. Flexerol and Vicoden work very well! It's usually the spasms that get me. It was a year and half ago last time, when I got pitched off one of my horses, about 11 foot in the air before I landed, says my husband, That hurt, and required an ambulance ride, I just couldn't move. Six hours later and boats loads of Demerol, x-rays and a CT scan, I was able to hobble out of the ER in a doubled hospital gown and cowboy boots. Made for a rather humorous picture and story. That big giant horse got sold! I get along alot better with girl horses.

Yeah Two Holidays!

2007-11-21T03:59:00.001-08:00

Being a nurse in a Pediatric Intensive Care Unit and being a nurse in the hospital setting for nearly 20 years hasn't allowed me many holidays off and this year I hit the jackpot. Not only to I have Thanksgiving off, but yesterday, my Supe called me at home and made a deal and I ended up with both X-mas eve and X-mas day off. Of course I'll have to work the three 12 hour nights before X-mas eve, but that's ok. I'll be shot on the eve's morning but I'll get up in the afternoon and become a human again. And this way I'll be fresh for X-mas day! Sometimes, it's the Holiday shuffle I hate most about being a nurse.

A Round About

2007-11-21T03:55:00.000-08:00

Nothin' Like It

2007-11-20T05:29:00.000-08:00

Nothin' like a new "do" (long awaited) , a little Christmas shopping, a very nice dinner at a very expensive fish market and I won't say what the topping of the night was, but you can guess. Just puts it all in perspective. Now it's back to the daily work grind and got my first paycheck with my decreased hours. Boy does that suck! Guess I'll have to try and pick up some overtime. That'll be hard on me. I love getting my X-mas shopping done and out of the way. I'm excited this year because we'll actually have some of our children with us and their significant others and we'll get back to buying toys for all. We are really big kids. And one of the funnest I discovered last night on our way to the mall, is that with the new road construction on our exit to the mall they've built a "round about". YES! Just like in England, with my British husband and all, the littlest things excite me. A real round about. Was tempted to go around a few times before getting off of it. They're fun, if you've never experienced it.

So Tell Me More.......

2007-11-19T09:49:00.000-08:00

Oh wise and experienced MS sufferers. I'm coming to the realization that my short-term memory really sucks and I can't think of certain words I want to say. That's been going on for a couple of years. And this last shot, the third, I snuck up the dose ever so slightly and crap it knocked me out, but I felt better once I warmed up and started moving about the house. I think what I find most disturbing, is the memory and word fishing expeditions. The stiffness I can usually make it through. As I keep moving and ibuprofen does wonders.

Whole New World

2007-11-15T19:30:00.000-08:00

Not that I want to promote myself or anything, but this is not my only blog. My main blog is that of MidWestHorse, because horses are one of interests. And that was the first blog I started in January of 2007. If you need a chuckle, might I suggest an occasional read over there as I've mentioned, A British city boy husband, a small farm with 16 animals in the middle of Wisconsin, a state my husband had never heard of before, can make for some humorous moments including my latest post over there entitled "Playin' Possum". It might just make you smile.

Wild Hare?

2007-11-14T17:48:00.000-08:00

I must have had a wild hare up my arse today. My husband and I are planning to get a pool table this year for Christmas as a family gift. The problem is where to put it as we have a finished apartment on the ground floor which equals a basement as we live in a converted barn, but the area down there that's is designated for a rec room is not finished. So instead, we've decided to put it in the extension which is our entry way. In order to do that I have to move some furniture. I decided to put the love seat on the third floor loft where my office area sits next to the media room, but I had a pile of crap in the corner for 13 years and I needed to finish painting the walls and beams in this room, so I did it. I am pooped, but boy what a difference. I am really stiff now. I'll probably really feel it tomorrow. Next week to finish clearing out the extension and making this pool table work. If I can still move.

The Second Dose

2007-11-13T05:59:00.000-08:00

Well, it wasn't so bad. Had a fellow nurse, Cindy give it to me just before I needed to give report and leave. Worked out fine. I can always count on Cindy, she has a bit of a mean streak. Was glad to do it for me, while others I had asked were too chicken to do it. I went home and slept , woke up with a bit of a headache, more sinus like in the evening, but all and all, not too bad. I'm hoping as I increase the dose, I'll still be able to tolerate it. I'm hoping so anyway. Had fun last night did a little pre-Christmas scouting for gifts and went out to dinner. Today, after my bath, since it's a nice day, think I'll go out and clean up my dusty horses. Maybe even do a little riding, while I have the weather on my side.

A Good Day

2007-11-06T15:52:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I was still wiped out from the shot and travel over the weekend and only managed to accomplish a load of laundry. Today was much better, I loaded and unloaded 10 bales of hay, two 50 pound bags of grain, some grocery shopping and I made dinner, although it was a weak dinner at that, none the less, dinner. This is the first day in a long time I felt good enough to get-er-done! Tomorrow, clean the goat and horse troughs and fill them and tidy up the house before work on Friday and Saturday nights(12 hour nights). I think this new schedule will work for me. Now to pop on my jammies and curl up in front of the telly.

Well I Did It

2007-11-04T16:54:00.000-08:00

Well, It's done. I only did a quarter dose. I'm supposed to titrate it. I froze the hell out of the side of my thigh first. I hope I got it IM. Not sure, now that I've done it. I went straight in with a one inch needle. My legs are my least fatty. And I managed to make myself bleed. I'm terrible at IM's anyway. Always make my patient's bleed too. Payback, I guess. Freezing works. Didn't feel it at all. That makes me wonder if it hit the muscle. Oh well, nothing I can do about it now , anyway. Now I'll just wait for the side affects.

It Arrives.............

2007-11-01T18:15:00.000-07:00

Kind of sounds like the title of a horror movie, but I did receive a personal phone call from my neurologist. I really like him. Every time I've had a question and left the message with his secretary, he has called me back personally rather than his nurse or someone else in the office. I think that's very cool. And I wanted to ask him which type of MS he thought I was and damned if one of those brain holes took over and I lost my thought train. So anyway, I get to titrate the drug over some months. Although I'm not sure how I'll get a quarter dose out of a full dose that equals only one half milliliter. Well, I'll figure it out somehow. Anyway, won't start until Sunday.

So You're Saying........

2007-10-29T12:12:00.000-07:00

I chased up the the Neurologist, the "specialized pharmacy" part of the insurance company, the Avonex case worker called this morning. I didn't realize that the treatment falls under the "specialized pharmacy". Was that weird! , "Oh, Miss, I'll have to transfer you to the specialized pharmacy" And I'm still not sure what's going on. I just want to get started so I can see how this will affect me before I get started on my 2 day weekend program. And so I know whether I can stab myself or find a neighbor to beg or whether I'll have time to make it home from work, if someone at work can do it for me. What a sissy I am, I keep thinking. I told my husband, that he knows that if I have to do this myself , I'll sitting in the john or laying in the bed balling whilst trying to give myself this injection. Geese! What a sissy. How do y'all do it?

Back To Work Today

2007-10-28T14:05:00.000-07:00

Have to go back to work tonight and then Tuesday and Wednesday nights as well. A weekend to Kentucky to Georgetown College with our daughter to check it out and then home. I will start my two weekend shifts the next week. Every Friday and Saturday night. Still haven't received the Avonex yet. Hoping I can get started soon , so I'll know how it will affect me before starting back to work. Looking forward to that , Not. Hope it doesn't make me too ill. Not sure I can inject myself. The very thought of it. Ick. And I'm a nurse. Everyone says well you're a nurse. you should be able to do that. Well, it's quite different on someone else rather than yourself. Like self mutilation. Anybody with any helpful hints out there, I'll gladly take into consideration.

Thank-You All

2007-10-26T14:04:00.000-07:00

Hey, I'm having a pretty great day. Feel well. Have been able to thoroughly house clean, including de-scumming my daughter's shower room and touching it up with some paint. Laundry done and put away. Just a quick tidy up of the kitchen and all is well and I believe that it has allot to do with the support I've received from all of you out there in just a 24 hour period!
Thanks, All

Take The Poll, Please.

2007-10-25T16:55:00.000-07:00

I put the poll to the right because I recently read someones blog and it seemed that they were only diagnosed a year ago and are already in a wheelchair and it freaked me out.

Nonchalant!

2007-10-25T14:45:00.000-07:00

It's amazing how nonchalant everyone I've had to deal with this in the medical profession is. That is the Neurologist's office and the Avonex company who promises to send out a Nurse to teach with the drug. Oh we'll be contacting you in about 3 to 4 business days. Has anyone else experienced this during diagnosis? They have no follow up appointments set up and said that I don't need to unless I have problems with the Interferon beta 1a and no lab work until I've been on it for a month. Is this how it all begins? My regular Doc has been a saint. She has ordered me some Valium so that I can muscle relax at bed time and promised me that if I was a big enough baby about giving myself the IM injection, she would order me some emla cream. See I am an RN, but a critical care pediatric one. However, it does baffle me how flip they all are. I've gone ahead and changed my work schedule to accommodate this MS, which I think should stand for monkey shit. Now let's just get the damned ball rolling!

Oh By The Way

2007-10-25T06:40:00.000-07:00

And oh by the way, Having an MRI is a noisy claustrophobic treat that for me was unpleasant even with Valium on board. Unfortunately for me and those who have to stick me, I have crappy veins, because I had to have dye injected in me for these MRI's. And they take over an hour of lying still in a tiny tube with noise and vibration and having your head and shoulders strapped down. Yeah, fun, too. Although, I can think of worse tortures.

Hurry Up & Wait

2007-10-25T06:28:00.000-07:00

Avonex. It's a once a week intramuscular shot of Interferon beta 1a which from what I hear makes you quite ill with chills and flu-like symptoms for months until your body gets used to it, if your body ever gets used to it. I'm still waiting for the drug. You just don't take the prescription to the pharmacy and pick it up. You first must sign your life away to the company that makes Avonex and your Neurologist has to fax the script to the company and they have to fax the script to your insurance company who then mails it to you with a bill, I assume. Of course I've had to be pro-active with this and call the Avonex company and the neurologist and my insurance company and I guess now I have to wait. You have MS, so deal, you're on your own. Kind of like being shoved off the plank of the pirate's ship in the middle of the ocean without the muscle strength to swim to shore. A whole lot of fun!

Getting Diagnosed

2007-10-25T06:06:00.000-07:00

For me, It started with subtle changes. Things I attributed to just getting older. Muscle stiffness, walking slower than my family on outings Having to use a bucket or step to get on my horses to ride. Being off balance on occasion. Well allot and just blowing it off as me. Taking longer to peel myself out of the car whilst everyone else was waiting for me to get out. Slurring my words and having trouble getting my point across and expecting everyone else to read my mind ( I attributed that to working 12 hour night shifts three times a week ). And then this year after a lovely labor day weekend at our local county fair with my husband, I woke up with an acute vision change in only one of my eyes, in which I initially blew off again as a sinus issue, eventually I was forced to the opthomologist and a thorough eye exam and follow-up which then led to the first of my MRI's, which showed lesions that looked like MS with clinical correlation and a Neurology Consult and now a second MRI of my c-spine, first one was of my brain, which also showed lesions. And the talk with my Neurologist brought me back to at least a year of "flare-ups", at least two others, one in January of 2007, in which I woke up with extreme and annoying numbness in both arms and hands and the classic MS symptom in which one bends your head forward and you get an electric shock type feeling that runs down your arms and finally a weird month of horizontal vertigo in which I felt like I was walking around in a hamster ball in December of 2006. All those episodes and correlating MRI's , "Callie, you have MS, and I'd like to treat it with Avonex."

Multiple Sclerosis

2007-10-25T05:53:00.000-07:00

What a shock diagnosis at age 44. I've created this blog for those of us who now suffer with MS and our family members to connect.